Busy, busy. Still working though!!!

Ok my friends, I am so sorry I haven't blogged since I moved! Life has been so busy that I haven't really taken the time to sit down and blog. Tonight is gonna be quick, just an update and a few thoughts :)

We did get moved into our new home which pretty much completely consumed almost 2 weeks of my life! While I didn't completely follow my diet and exercise throughout that time, I didn't go completely down the toilet either. However I got my treadmill in this week and have followed my diet and exercise plan perfectly...even though I am also working on quitting smoking right now also!! I am really proud of myself because I never thought I could do both things at once and so far I'm doing great. I have gone from a pack a day habit to 5 cigarettes a day and hope to cut it down to 4 or less in the next couple days, without any help from meds or electronic cigarettes or patches or anything, haven't eaten my feelings at all, instead I'm taking out my cravings and such on the treadmill which is great! I'm trying hard to be mindful of the people around me when I feel cranky, and chewing a lot of gum :) I have gotten overwhelming support from my wonderful friends and family and I am so very thankful for that! Already I have noticed when I'm jogging on the treadmill I don't lose my breathe as quick and I can push myself longer which has been awesome too! The bottom line is that I'm in determination mode right now, and I may as well try and kick this nasty habits butt at the same time. Being healthy isn't just about what you weigh....it would be great to be 100 pounds lighter, but what good is it if I'm blackening my lungs while I'm at it!?!? I'm heading into god knows what trying to completely make over my lifestyle into a healthy one. I know without a doubt that its going to get a hell of a lot harder before it gets easier, but knowing and understanding and being prepared for that is half the battle, and it's a battle I'm already fighting, I'm already on my way to winning! Sometimes taking the first step is all you need to get you there!!! I'm a pretty simple girl when it comes right down to it, and this entire thing simplifies life a little more in all the right ways :) So weigh in is the day after tomorrow. I know better at this point looking back on my month to expect to see anything too significant, but I'm looking forward, not back!! I will be signing up for the same weight loss competition that I did last year where I did win top female loser, I also have a fun spring break planned with my family that I will be able to incorporate into my journey, and maybe most exciting of all....my hubby and I are renewing our wedding vows this summer after 10 years of marriage. Lots of planning and weight loss involved in that as I will be on a quest to find a beautiful dress to fit my changing body! :) to those of you who let me know you missed my blog I thank you so much, knowing I have you helps keep me going! One day this is going to happen for me, and I will have you to thank for pushing me, supporting me, and believing in me! It's about to get serious, time for full speed!!

Day #1...again!

So there it is...that number that I have been dreading, but I can't say it's unexpected because after all these years of my weight going up and down, I usually have a pretty good idea of the number just based on how I feel, the way my clothes fit..and looking in the mirror! I actually guessed myself 5 pounds heavier than this before I stepped on the scale and my hubby guessed me at 10 pounds lighter. Either way, this is my weight as of today. I post my weight because I am doing this so that my friends and family can be a part of my journey too, I said I would be honest, and honestly I don't have anything to hide. I know some people have an issue with others knowing their weight but there are a couple reasons why it doesn't bother me. I am happily married so I'm not afraid of some guy deciding I'm not worth his time because of the number on the scale (plus a guy like that wouldn't interest me anyway), and I am well aware of who I am, you can tell by looking at me that I am fat. Even if you see the picture and feel the need to tell me I'm fat, that's fine, I already know that :) I'm a wife and a mother of 4 kids, at this point in my life it's hard to humiliate me so you should expect to continue to see pictures of my weight..once a month. However I do try to keep humiliation to a minimum so although I will blog my weight, you won't catch me on a street corner holding a sign with my weight and body fat percentage, that's just asking for trouble! ;)

I started this today because once I made the decision to start at all, I had to do it quick, gives me less time to talk myself out of it. Clearly it's good that I decided to since I have gained 33 pounds since March last year when I had my weight at the lowest it had been in my adult life. I did not bust my ass today and walk 10 miles or jog 3 or any of that. I did one mile on the elliptical and a round of strength training..legs, tummy, and arms. It kept my heart rate up, I burned some calories, sweat, and I felt great afterwards, plus my legs are sore which is always a good sign! I don't have a specific exercise plan that I am following so I'm just gonna go with the flow each day. I have the equipment, tools,and knowledge I need to do this. I'll just have to decide how to apply those things every day. My diet is gonna be the usual. I like to count calories, and post pictures and use numbers because it's fact, I can put it on here without playing with it or stretching the truth. The thing about typing, or even speaking to someone is this: you can say anything you want, but just because you say it doesn't make it true. That's why I give you the numbers and the pictures. Here on this blog or on my facebook, what you see is what you get, and what you see is what it is, bottom line. Just remember I am sharing all this in hopes of getting support in return, not negativity. Support and advice is always appreciated :)

Here I am today. Trust me I know it's almost painful to be posting these pictures here today, when 1 year ago I did this very thing and then failed. I have to do what I have to do, and I'm starting over. Not a pretty picture, and it is my least favorite part. I dislike the pictures more than I do getting on the scale. I did my measurements again also so here those are...

Bust-47 1/2 inches

Waist-49 inches

Hips-48 inches

Right Arm-14 inches

Left Arm-14 1/4 inches

Right Thigh-27 3/4 inches

Left Thigh-27 inches

Right Calf-16 1/2 inches

Left Calf-17 inches

I have learned for me it is very important to keep track of inches because sometimes when you don't see the loss in on the scale you will see it in the inches which is always nice. I plan on keeping a food journal as well, today was a successful one, and the chicken stir fry dinner was delicious!

That is a lot of painful truths in one blog. The beginning is always the hardest because you have to acknowledge where you are at but...

Day #1 down...lot's and lot's more to go. I could be wrong but I'm really thinking that 2013 could be my year! ;)

Goodnight!

2013...if your tired of starting over you have to stop quitting!

I don't want to get on here and blog about how 2013 is going to be my year to lose weight. The truth is that I don't really know if it is. I can say that I hope that it is my year! I'm not going to look at this like a resolution because is just something we come up with all because the date changes. I think that real goals need to be more than a resolution. In fact I hadn't even panned on starting over again because I have to want it to do it and it hadn't crossed my mind a whole lot, but that all changed yesterday as I was doing more packing to move because I ran across my diet journal. It's a handmade, in a binder and I put a lot of work into it. I was inspired and dedicated when I made it. It has page after page of foods and their calorie content, handwritten. Pages of me journaling about weight loss. It has pictures of me and my husband and my kids and lists and lists of reasons why I wanted to get healthier and a diet plan I wrote out, and in the very back is page after page of daily food and exercise logs. Once I found my handmade journal, it made me go back through this blog. Sometimes to know where you want to go, you have to look back at where you have been. This is war I have been fighting for years, some battles I have lost and others I have won...I haven't come close to winning the war though. Today I realized I still want to try, I can be good at this weight loss thing when I set my mind to it and I'm not ready to completely give up, so the only thing to do is to keep trying. Starting over is exhausting and daunting, but I have to stop quitting in order to stop having to start over! Stop quitting or just give up for good and just be the way I am forever....completely giving up just isn't an option for me, it's not who I am. I have dreams that I can't let go of and this is one of them!!!!! I'm sure I will screw up and get down but hopefully I won't give in. I have started the year out with a lot of positive things going on, and a few really positive changes. In some ways I found my self worth again, and made changes in my life to get rid of the things that were taking that away from me and that's a pretty big start for someone like me! Now I haven't gotten on a scale yet so I can't give you any numbers, but I will. I'm renewing my vows this summer so who knows??? I could be in a much smaller dress by then! I need help from all of you too though, I started a blog originally because I was hoping to not only be held more accountable, but to help inspire others. I will keep blogging, and keep you updated and be honest even when I don't want to, and you hold me accountable friends! Sometimes it takes the support of other people to do great things <3