Smaller, smaller, smaller!

Ok I am starting out this post with a picture, for two reasons. One being that it is one of the things I did this weekend while I wasn't blogging. We paid off our car and bought a new one, but the most important reason is that this picture is the first one I have looked at and really realized that I am getting smaller! Obviously not where I need and want to be, but definitely noticeably smaller than when I started, and I know that I am, the numbers tell me that, but it's a different thing to see a picture of yourself and see it, especially because we are harder on ourselves. That was a good day for me in the picture department, I took one today and absolutely feel like I look at least 5 months pregnant...such is life I guess.

I haven't blogged in 5 days, first it was because I was out of town for the weekend, Monday and Tuesday is a different matter because my kids came down with pink eye....which then passed on to me, my hubby, and my mom, it was a total nightmare, everyone had to be home and it was just a very crazy couple of days. Today life went back to normal which I very much appreciated because I am the type of person who feeds off of a routine and a schedule..it's the way my life runs somewhat smoothly and when things are out of whack it makes it hard. That being said, I am back and blogging again and sitting here doing it feels good!

I got the opportunity to do a little clothes shopping this weekend and let me tell you....what a different experience than I am normally used to. Generally shopping for clothes comes with a side of depression, and knocks my self esteem down a notch or two, but this weekend it did the opposite. I bought smaller jeans that looked good, I bought smaller bra's and when I was picking out new workout clothes...there were things that were actually to big for me! That is a pretty big deal. Last time I bought a yoga outfit it was a 2X. This time, not only was the 2X to big, but so was the XL...I was able to buy just plain large, in the woman's department...not the plus size section. The large is a 12/14..and to me that was a BIG deal! There was a time in my life when I was uncomfortable in a 3X!

It's good for stuff like that to happen because it reassures us that our work pays off, and now that I weigh only once a month I rely on little victories like that to keep me motivated, to show me that progress is being made.

Another thing that this picture made me realize is that I  have NO idea what my thinner figure will look like. In my adult life so far I have been overweight, and my body has definitely changed...in this picture I have hips! Noticeable hips...which when I look at pictures of me in high school, there were no sign of. I can't look at old pictures and know what my body will look like, because my body has changed. I have taken on a more womanly figure...really without even noticing it because when you are hiding under layers of fat, and a huge belly, and love handles..you can't really see the hips. This is the first picture that I really noticed it in. I have had 4 kids and gotten older and my body is no longer a straight line, but I have never really experienced that part of me because of the extra weight. On one hand it's a little scary having no certain idea what my body will look like. On the other hand it is very exciting to wonder about it and think about it...and someday to see it will be completely amazing because it truly will be a me that I have never been before, and that is really something.

In the meantime I'm gonna keep imagining...and picking out cuter clothes of course because this is one smaller body that I have never been able to dress, and I am loving every minute of it ;)