"The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination." (Tommy Lasorda)
Last night Hunter decided to get Cory and I up at 3:00 in the morning and didn't crash out until about 7 am, at which time we already had to start our day. So needless to say I was exhausted this morning. Then even though today was the day I had been expecting my taxes...and they didn't show up, and boy was I cranky about that! The whole day just started out terribly and I was in NO mood to do anything, especially the exercise I knew I needed to do.
I'm not talking about the normal days where you get up and you don't necessarily want to do anything, and you kind of dread getting on the treadmill, but you do it anyways...I'm talking about today...where I sat on the couch debating, and kept getting up and doing stuff around the house...choosing any excuse at all to NOT get on the treadmill. I debated with myself and I thought oh forget it, I just weighed yesterday..it won't hurt me to miss one day right after a weigh in, after all I won't weigh again for a month so if I don't exercise it's not going to hurt me. Then I told myself that everyone is entitled to a bad day and if I don't want to do anything than it's definitely my choice, I would only be hurting myself, I deserve a day to not worry about it, blah, blah, blah. On and on and on, excuse after excuse!!!
So long story short I went on this way until almost 1 p.m. today, and 2 things got me in the right mind frame.
First things first, I decided to get on the scale, even though yesterday was weigh in, even though I am trying to only weigh once a month so that I don't get discouraged. But today I needed discouragement today, I thought if nothing else I would probably weigh more because by this time I have eaten both breakfast and lunch...plus drank over a gallon of water. My thinking was that when I got on the scale and saw that number it would push me to do my workouts, that those numbers would tell me "Oh no, you are NOT going to let this happen, you have worked too hard!!" So anyways I ended up getting on the scale, and instead of weighing more I weighed less 2.4 pounds less to be exact...I weighed 232 when yesterday I was at 234.4. The fact that the number was smaller motivated me even more than a bigger number would have, when I saw that...I decided that each day DOES in fact matter, each day my body is changing....getting stronger, and smaller, and I knew at that moment that late or not, bad day or not, tired or not, cranky or not...I had to do what I needed to do which was get on the treadmill, do my jog, and walk my 5 miles. And I did :)
The second thing that motivated me was this, this whole blog, and all the people who follow it, or even take the time to read it now and then. I did not want to have to get on here and say that I didn't. I didn't want to let anyone down who is inspired by me and my motivation (even though it is lacking every now and then). I didn't want anyone to think I was giving up on myself...because so many times before I have given up on myself, doubted my strength and dedication and motivation. Doubted that I was ever going to be able to do this. When you feel hopeless and can be hard to keep going, when you look ahead and see a long hard road, it's easier to make excuses as to why you can't do it. When you look at your progress but then see how far you still have to go....it can be very, very discouraging. I know for me sometimes it's easier to assume that I never will, then at least I don't have to be on this roller coaster of physical and emotional challenges.
Something else I have learned is that sometimes when you keep giving up on yourself, it makes it increasingly easier for other people to give up on you! We don't want to give up on ourselves because we need other people to keep cheering us on, to keep giving us support, and to not give up on us...even when we want to give up on ourselves.
That is exactly why I decided to do this blog in the first place, to rally support, to show support, to inspire, to help when and if I could......and to keep me accountable and standing on two feet, maybe not always with a smile, but still on two feet, pushing forward.
I thank all of you for that!
"There is nothing impossible to him who will try." (Alexander the Great)
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